Live: Brother. 2/10.

‘Love is a Time Machine’, apparently. This band really do know how to write lyrics. These enlightening words will unite the youth, the old, the music afficionados, Liam and Noel Gallagher. Ha ha, yeah right.

Brother haven’t exactly made their big-money-record-label insertion into the music industry easy for themselves, have they? Firstly they opted for a awful, ungoogleable name, infamously and ridiculously making bigheaded comments such as the fabulous: “If you don’t want to hear the future of music, leave now”. They then revealed their worthless, insipid lyrics (see above) and now on their first extensive UK tour they’ve picked two support bands who look and sound and exactly like them. Why should the latter matter, I hear you ask? Well, because the tonight the support play for longer than the headliners. Two hours and a half of crappy lad-rock to gear up for a bit more crappy lad-rock. Great, I can’t wait.

Locomotives play some songs whose lyrical splendour essentially revolves around the following: ‘yeah’, ‘yeah, yeah, yeah’, ‘maybe, baby’ and ‘no, no, no’. They’re not completely tuneless, however, occasionally verging on catchy.

Up next is a band who make The Metros sound as splendiferous as The Beatles. The lead singer looks like a cow, all their shirt buttons are done up (they are lads, evidently) and they make atrocious music, as you probably understood. Oh yeah, I forgot to say, their name is All The Young, but I’d advise you not to look them up.

One merit of this gig is the room. It is a nice space. And by the time Brother come on stage, only two thirds full (the crowd now comprises the two support bands and around sixty or so other people here to see (and laugh?) at the world’s gobbiest buzz band.

And so, Brother come on stage. The lead singer looks about twelve, the rest of the band, a bit older. The drummer seems like a genuine guy. Launching into ‘New Year’s Day’ with utterly faux swagger, the guys bore the room from the outset. Like Locomotives, the band have a structured formula: puerile lyricism, 20 second guitar solos, bit’a cocky banter in between and an underlying aim to sound like a celestial (*ahem*) amalgam of Shed Seven’s and Toploader’s extensive back catalogues.

It’s not very good really – It’s all well and good saying that you think you’re brilliant, but underneath all that it seems even the band themselves know how bad they are. They seem to give up. They play for 30 minutes. The image of Brother from all those press stunts fades. Brother dies.

You’ve got to commend their stage show though: six members (inc. a backing singer), frequent guitar changes, a cheeky backdrop depicting children smoking. They kind of put the effort in. Sonically, however, ‘Darling Buds Of May’ is the only song which really resonates, and that’s because I’ve heard it before.


From Huw Oliver.

Sucking Lemons.


8 responses to “Live: Brother. 2/10.

  1. When I first starting reading the bit about ‘All The Young’ I misread and thought you were talking about the Metro’s, I thought you were calling THEM awful.. suffice to say at first I was amazed that someone could think that.

    Nice to see some honesty, if a bit harsh


  2. What a shocking piece of journalism. Quite clearly some spotty little bedroom reviewer who made his mind up before even going to the show. If you don’t like britrock then I advise you stay in next time, you don’t seem like the kind of guy who enjoys going out much anyway. If I were you reading this I’d look all 3 bands up and make your own mind up. Tit.

    • Shocking piece of journalism? You’re right Mike, it does seem both harsh and naive yet you were neither there nor do you know this reviewer. This ‘spotty little bedroom reviewer’ got the chance to review for a semi-known blog, keep your ignorant/stupid opinions to yourself, start your own blog maybe? Critique the music, not the reviewer.

  3. I have every right to critique the reviewer. The internet is awash with shameful articles like this one, which sadly people take notice of. It doesn’t even say where the gig was at for gods sake. I’m not a fan of Brother but whilst reading about them I’d at least like to hear an interesting argument/point against them that goes beyond picking on the obvious. Tell me what purpose reviews like this serve? Absolutely none, just sounds like some bitter wannabe journo venting his spleen to me.

  4. No you dont have the right, you critique the review. You opted for name calling: ‘Spotty little bedroom reviewer,’ ‘tit’ and ‘bitter wannabe journo,’ very articulate. Secondly you’re absolute right, a reviewer of a live performance should avoid pointing out the obvious wherever possible and find interesting abstract points that nobody else will pick up on. What purpose does the review serve? You mean aside from informing us that he was in no means impressed with the live performance and giving us a few different reasons why he wasnt so impressed. “This band really do know how to write lyrics”; criticism of the support band and the standard criticism of their arrogance.
    Again, i’d like to point out i agree with you, by no means is this a good review. But you’ve not admitted you were there so i’ll presume you werent, so you dont know how bad they actually were. Secondly, the crying about the reviewer is out of line. Pick holes in his review and stop whining about him.

  5. Fair enough, maybe I haven’t got my web journalism rules and ethos in the right place. I just think this website is far better than rubbish like this, and who else am I gonna go for other than the reviewer!

  6. I think James and Mike are gay. By Paul.

  7. Hey guys. Writer of the review here. I’m sorry if my words seem a little too harsh, but to be frank, all three bands were pretty atrocious on the night, so they had it coming. This was the first scathing review I really went for, so apologies if I’ve caused any offence. If you’d like to check out a more positive review of mine, here’s an example:

    Also, ‘spotty bedroom reviewer’ sums me up really. I’m 16, doing my gcses, writing for websites such as This Is Fake DIY and RockFeedback, and I do have acne, but what were you doing when you were 16?

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